Coconut Porter

So, my first beer I experimented with was a Coconut Porter from Maui Brewing Company.  I picked up a 4-pack from a local restaurant supply store here in LA.  I figured this was as good a place to start as any.  I am a big fan of porters and stouts and this was one I'd never heard of or seen before, so why not give it a try.  I drank all 4 within a 2-3hr time while playing Batman: Arkum Asylum for the PS3 (yes, I am that big of a dork).

The Beer:
To start, I was a bit surprised to find this craft brew in a 4-pack of cans.  That's something that I don't find too often in craft beers.  The can states that this is because "cans are lighter, chill quicker, and can be enjoyed on beaches and sensitive environments."  That makes sense and coming from Maui, I can see why these aspects are important to the brewery.  As far as taste goes, I dug it!  It had strong notes of vanilla on top of the aforementioned nutty coconut flavor.  It went down smooth and poured easily.  I had no trouble throwing back all 4 of these in a night.  The one thing that was distinctly different for this porter though, was the lack of a widget (that little ball in cans of Guinness that releases carbonation into the glass as your pour it). I kept expecting a cascading effect similar to that of Guinness or Boddingtons.  It didn't have that, but it also didn't need that.  Coconut Porter is certainly a beer I'd recommend.

The Buzz:
So how drunk did I get off these 4 beers?  Well, each can packed 5.7% alcohol.  That's slightly more than average, but not extreme enough where I felt a distinct reaction to the first beer.  In fact, I felt nothing.   That is until I finished the 2nd beer and stood up to go get the 3rd.  After just two drinks, the alcohol had mingled and mixed with my blood and had me feeling fine.  My gaming skills were not yet impaired though, so I continued to drink down number 3.  After 3 beers though, it was time to take a piss and reevaluate whether or not a 4th (and final) beer was necessary.  Well, I couldn't very well leave that one beer all alone in the fridge with no friends.  And as any good drinker knows...leave no soldiers behind!  A 4th beer might not have been needed, but it was appreciated.  I was certainly on my way to full-fledged drunkenness after I was done with numero quattro.  My gaming skills had perished.  Despite thinking I was doing a great job of beating up The Joker's thugs, I kept dying time after time after time.  I decided to call it quits on the game and the beer.  I'm glad this was a 4-pack.  The Coconut Porter went down so smooth that I would've easily finished another one (or possibly two).  But that certainly would have been trouble.  So, 4 down, happily and fully buzzed, Maui Brewing Company gets the nod for brewing a quality and tasty beer.

The Hangover:
As with almost all hangovers, this one came in two parts.  The first, at 5:30am when my dogs decided to wake me and let me know they could give a shit about my drinking experiments.  At this first stage (on about 4 hours sleep), I felt like total shit.  Completely dehydrated, pounding headache, crushing heartburn.  Curse you Coconut Porter...curse youuuuu!  So, I let the dogs out to pee, popped a few Advil, had about half a glass of water, and passed back out for another 4 hours.  Part 2 of the hangover was much much better.  There was still a subtle headache.  Brain cells had certainly died the night before.  My stomach was marginally upset.  But after a coffee and bowl of cereal, it didn't get any worse, so I assumed that I was in the clear.  There was a lingering shakiness throughout the day, but that could easily have been due to the 22.8% total alcoholic content I poured into my body, that certainly wasn't unexpected or severe.  I did my best to evaluate throughout the day how the hangover fared.  Did it totally fade away?  No, not really.  But it didn't affect my day-to-day chores and activities.  I was aware of the hangover, the fatigue, the cloudiness in my brain, but I wasn't cringing with pain and uncomfort at every turn.  I always feel as though driving is a the true test of a hangover.  If you can operate a vehicle without problems, the hangover is either gone or insignificant.  If you feel like you're in worse shape than you would've been the night before while drinking, then the hangover won.  I was driving while hungover and aside from the same cloudiness, had no problems operating a large vehicle.  I could drink a 4-pack of this again, although I wouldn't recommend doing so on a work night.

The Verdict:
Not Allergic!  Maui Brewing Company's Coconut Porter will get you wasted and taste good while doing so, but it won't cause you an early allergic death.