Anchor Steam Small Beer

This month I bring to you the final Beer Hates Me test of 2010. I've come a long way while growing, learning, and experimenting with different types of ales & lagers, porters & stouts, barleywines & dubels. So how do I cap off such a landmark year of alcoholic consumption? Why with the worst beer I've tasted all year! Cause I'm gangsta like that....bitches....

The Beer:

How could I have chosen so poorly? Sure, I knew that this beer was considered a “light” beer. Sure, I knew that it wasn't a special seasonal or limited edition batch. But it came from a very respectable brewery with a long line of quality beers and brewing methods from one of the great American cities - San Francisco. Anchor Steam Small Beer was very simply, horrible. It claims to have been brewed using a (practically ancient) technique that essentially uses the leftovers from a stronger batch to make a secondary, lighter batch. The English would refer to it as a Small Beer, and thus, that's exactly what Anchor Steam has done here. They take their Old Foghorn Barleywine Style Ale and try to duplicate that using the runoff mash and wort and wang and plonk. It's all really technical mumjo jumbo for brewers and guys at home who buy Mr. Beer and think they know their shit. Well, I wouldn't doubt it if Anchor Steam was really just claiming to know what they are doing and instead buying some Mr. Beer kits and letting their retarded, blind children have a go at it. Because despite the fact their website claims that they “believe you will find Anchor Small Beer delicious – similar to what modern brewers call a 'bitter'”, I believe that this tasted like crap and found myself cursing my inner soul for purchasing such ass beer for my last post of the year. Thanks Anchor Steam. You fucked me. You really fucked me you assbag.

The Buzz:

The buzz? Seriously? Hey, remember that first paragraph you just read about “The Beer”? Remember reading that? You may have sensed a bit of frustration, a tad bit of disappointment, a touch of anger in that paragraph up there. Well, you might as well re-read it because there is nothing to speak of in terms of a buzz for this beer. At only 3.3% abv and tasting like brewed asshole, it was basically like drinking really shitty water over the course of 2 hours. And not just like shitty water at a restaurant, but like shitty water at a Mexican restaurant in Mexico! And not the good, resorty parts of Mexico either. I'm talking the drug cartel border towns of Mexico with shit on the bathroom walls and beer that they piss in. And ironically, that is where this beer may have come from. Beer from a small Mexican town on the border run by gang cartels who own Mr. Beer kits that their blind, retarded daughters pee into. Thanks again Anchor Steam, you dick.

The Hangover:

Well, surely a beer that tasted shitty and gave me no buzz whatsoever could never give me a hangover of any sort, right? I mean, 3.3% abv. That's like cough medicine. Think again! It was like cough medicine made in that shitty Mexican bar I guess because I felt awful the next morning. Not the typical hangover per se. I didn't have the stomach pains/headache that normally come with a rough night of drinking. But rather, I was dehydrated and shaky most of the day. Running errands and driving around weren't the easiest things to do and the 80+ degree weather made outdoor chores and fresh air less than satisfying (not that outdoor chores or fresh air are ever satisfying when it's in the 80's mid-December). Regardless, any hangover from Anchor Small Beer should have come with a coupon for one of Anchor Steams better brews. And that coupon should have been delivered in an ice cream truck handing out beer floats from those tiny, blind, retarded, homeless Mexican girls. They fuckin' owed it to me. Them and Anchor Steam, you bastards.

The Verdict:

So what do I deliver as a verdict for this debacle of a test? Obviously it was a total failure as a beer to enjoy. It was a failure as a beer that'd get one nicely buzzed. And it went 3 for 3 in being a failure by providing a hangover the next morning. So, the bottom line is that I fucked up. Royally. Rather than seeking out a seasonal or varietal batch for this holiday post, I tried mixing it up a bit in experimenting with a light beer from a world-renown brewery thinking that at the very least I'd get some better insight into "light" beers. Little did I know that the results I'd get would be tragic and depressing. Anchor Steam, you really know how to rape a guys dreams of excellent beer, don't you? I suppose I should take some of the blame for this month's test, but seriously Anchor Steam, your all fuck-holes.

However, as a bonus for this commemorative post, I present to you a look at my holiday take of beers this year. There are some real select varieties in this group. And I have no clue when or where they'll be consumed. I do know, however, that they will be freely enjoyed without a thought of documenting them for this blog! Happy New Years alcoholics!

Lagunitas Brown Shugga

This month I'm going back. Way back. Back into time... Join me as I tackle the very first beer I requested and recognized as a craft brew. Curiously enough, this is a beer from the same brewer that I also recognized as being a stalwart of the hate that certains beers have on me. Lagunitas...you bitch! You lure me in with sideways glances and touches of greatness, only to leave me grasping for breath after a swift kick to the junk. Whatever did I do to you???

The Beer:

The year was 2004. It was New Year's Eve and everyone was heading to Catalina Island for a weekend of partying, eating, and drinking. A dozen or so friends rented a cottage on the island where we'd welcome in 2005 with a bang. Being a tiny island with limited resources, we opted to stock up on food & drink on the mainland prior to departure. My job was to secure a portion of the beer for the weekend. Rather than go the easy route and hit up the local 7-11 for 30packs of Bud & Coors Light; I ventured out to a newly found beer distributor to peruse their selection. After spending what likely appeared to be an eternity just staring at the wide variety of imported and domestic craft brews, a helpful clerk asked me what I was looking for. I told him my preferences and he went to the back to grab me a six-pack of Lagunitas Brown Shugga. He gracefully went on to tell me how this was the newest seasonal from the brewery and one of the hottest items on their shelves. Thinking that I struck rare-beer gold, I promptly asked him if they had another 6-pack to purchase. He told me there probably was and that he'd bring it up to the register. After stocking my cart full of other select beers both known and unknown, I checked out and headed for the island eagerly anticipating my newfound treasure. What I discovered was a beer unlike any I had ever tasted up until then. Technically considered a Barley Wine, I had no clue what or how these flavors could exist in a beer.

The Buzz:

Not only was my palate shocked by what it was experiencing, but apparently my body was equally surprised by how such a smooth drink could pack such an alcoholic punch. Prior to Brown Shugga, I had only thought of wines and liquors as something that could be high in alocoholic content. And due to my personal distaste for either of those drinks, I automatically equated high abv with harsh tastes. Lagunitas Brown Shugga was my first foray into a smooth, drinkable beer that could easily floor you before the 6-pack was done. But I was naïve and eager to impress those amongst me with my unique beer and sophisticated taste. Little did I know that this beer would also destroy me physically and...yes...even emotinally.

Fast forward to 2010 and my sensebilities and knowledge of beer has grown exponentially. I know good beers from bad. I recognize yearly from seasonal batches. And I appreciate flavor over intoxication. This time around, I knew what I was getting into with Brown Shugga. I knew the complex layers of dried fruit and bitter hops would coat my mouth with a thick slightly spicey finish. The dark copper color and light tan head poured perfectly into my glass. And being a Barley Wine, what better serving method than a stemmed wine glass. At 9.84% abv, I didn't expect to have the desire to drink more than the 48oz limit my test dictates. What I did't realize though was that my body would only need 36oz to feel as though it had had enough.

The Hangover:

For those of you who have yet to buy into the masichistic notion of this experiment, please allow me to present you with item #1 – my second foray into Lagunitas Brewery in less than a year. Why Lagunitas? Why? What did I ever do but sing your praises and accomplishments? What do you do that poisons me so? Although not quite as bad as the hangover from Lagunitas Censored Rich Copper Ale, I once again awoke early to a pounding headache and a burning stomach pain. Following suit, I fed the dogs, took some pills, drank some water and went back to bed. After a few hours I woke again to find that those symptopms from the early morning hours still lingered. And worse, my body felt as if it was exhausiting fumes of alcohol out of every pore in my body. A shower and coffee did help some, but not to the extent that I was comfortable to operate heavy machinery. So, after hopping in my truck and heading into work, I was sure some fresh air and a breakfast would do the trick. But alas, no aid was coming for me or my symptoms. Only time would heal these inner wounds. Only time...

The Verdict:

The best way that I can sum up this month's beer is nostalgia. Not only was Brown Shugga as good as I remembered, but sadly the hangover was just as bad as I recalled. Lagunitas is a brewery that I so badly want to be MY brewery. While others tout Stone, Pyramid, Sierra Nevada, or one of the other California microbreweries as their local favorite, Lagunitas was supposed to be mine. I found it back in 2004 and introduced it to my Michelob-swilling friends. I was ahead of the curve before I knew there was even a curve to be ahead of. But after two failed experiements this year alone --- coupled with the harsh memory of how Brown Shugga wrecked New Year's Eve so long ago, perhaps I'll have to move north and settle for Anchor Steam. Hmmm, maybe next month we'll find out if I do.

Sierra Nevada Porter

Welcome back to this month's spook-tacular edition of Beer Hates Me (see what I did there...cause it's almost Halloween. Spook. I'm a fuckin' literary genius!). As I write this, we are in the middle of some lovely Santa Ana winds in Los Angeles that are providing us with seasonal gusts blowing the leaves to and fro along with un-seasonal warmth that makes those winds feel like a dragon's fart after a burrito. But the current climate is drastically different from the what it was when I drank this month's beer, the simply titled, Sierra Nevada Porter.

The Beer:
A few weeks back, I was trying to determine what I should drink for another round of scientific intoxication, and I had the hankerin' for a smooth yet bold porter. Looking back on my previous experiments, I had not drank one for this purpose since the very first installment. So with a specific type of brew in mind, I headed out to the local BevMo in search of a worthy subject. After several minutes and many trips up and down the isles, I settled upon Sierra Nevada Porter. Now, I have a dubious history with Sierra Nevada. Many of their offerings in the past have not agreed with me nor my physiology. It's often been a brewery that I've strayed from knowing that I'd pay dearly in the morning for an evening of microbrew indulgence. But I had never tried their Porter and figured what better time to revisit an old foe then under the guise of social and scientific experimentation.
So how did the beer taste? In a word, awesome! It was a smooth, pleasant drink with wonderful vanilla and coffee aromas. The dark deep color with a perfect tan head made me remember that porters are probably my favorite of all beers. Some people out here love their hops. Lots of friends back east are lager people. But me, I'm a porter guy. Give me something dark and thick but not cloyingly sweet or syrupy like many stouts bring to the forefront. I want a smokey beer, and I can't think of many that deliver those qualities in such distinct and deliberate fashion as Sierra Nevada Porter does.

The Buzz:
Unlike most of my past beers dedicated to this project, this one came in a six-pack. Not a four-pack, not a pair of 22oz bottles, but an old-school, easy-to-carry sixer! While this was nice for a change, it did present the problem of over-indulging. Being the smooth, smokey goodness that this Porter was, the chance of going back for numbers 5 or 6 was a definite concern of mine. While this isn't a "chugging" beer (then again, what respectable beer is? We, gentlemen sip our beer with distinction and respect!), the drinkability was extremely high for me. Beers 1-3 went down relatively quickly.  Whatever I was watching was barely halfway through when I realized that I was basically done with my third beer. So, after a short break and a little snack, I popped open beer #4 and poured it into a glass to savor as I took my time enjoying all the notes and fragrances and aromas it presented itself with. Oh, I was also wasted! While not overtly high in alcoholic content (a modest 5.6% abv), the speed at which I finished 3 warranted the heavy and happy buzz I harbored. But the fourth bottle purposely went down slower. And as the fourth was going-going-gone, the desire for a fifth slowly faded away. Although I certainly could have finished another one (or even two for that matter), the brain and the body found perfect harmony and I was content to wrap up the drinking for the night.

The Hangover:
Ahh, the hangover. Perhaps my most anticipated yet. My history of bad reactions to other Sierra Nevada beers led me to suspect that I'd have a similar experience the morning after their Porter. I woke up early to feed the dogs with only a modest sense of fuzziness and discomfort. The headache had yet to manifest itself in the form of a migraine, and the stomach held strong without any sense of nausea. Still, to be safe, I popped my hangover cocktail, had a drink of water and returned to bed for a few hours. When my wife came to wake me later, I popped up out of bed and was ready for the day, nary a hangover in sight.  Could it be true? Did I find a beer that I loved AND gave my no ill side affects? And was it possible that this all came from a brewer that has shown me no mercy in the past? At the moment, it appears as though the answers to all those questions is a resounding yes! But despite my glee in finding a beer that agrees with me on so many levels, my first thought was to repeat the procedure. Do it again to confirm the results. In essence, go back to the lab!
But that's not gonna happen just yet. I have neither the time nor patience to repeat a test at this juncture in the process. Not when there are so many other beers to experiment with out there. I will, however, go take another look at Sierra Nevada's other offerings to see if perhaps my past horrors stem only from their signature Pale Ale and not their many other offerings.

The Verdict:
The verdict this month is that I am awesome! My autumn instincts told me that it was time for a Porter and I knocked it out the park with my choice of Sierra Nevada. Furthermore, I also conquered what I once considered to be a brewery that crafted their beers in such a way that I could never truly enjoy them without the fear of death the next day. Similar to the way Lagunitas beers have all provided me with painful hangovers, this month's test has reinvigorated that confidence to go back out and try a batch or two from them that I hadn't previously tried. All in all, this month may just have been the most successful experiment yet!

Corsendonk Pater (Abbey Brown Ale)

What better way to help relieve the record heat here in Los Angeles, then by conjuring up memories of this past weekend when it was less hot. And to do so, I bring you the latest and greatest installment of my monthly malty masochistic machinations (yeah alliteration!).  This month I decided to get away from the American craft beers that had been doting this blog and head back to some 750mL bottled Belgian ale. My random choice from the local BevMo, Corsendonk Pater (Abbey Brown Ale).

The Beer:
I think the first thing I can say in regards to this month's experiment is that I've grown as a beer drinker. I now know things I didn't before and acknowledge subtleties in the taste, texture, and aroma. I also can appreciate the finer things in life like cigars, brandy, and a good book. Walks on the beach are always nice, as are antique flea markets and bird watching. Occasionally, I'll enjoy an old jazz record on a Sunday evening by the fire. Perhaps I'll even break out Bill Cosby's "Fatherhood" just for good measure. Ahhhh, aging...ain't it grand!  Oh, did I forget to mention that I turned 30 a few weeks back. Yeah. Fucking aging! So, I jest about those finer points. Instead, I've enrolled in Muay Thai Kickboxing and have eaten more cheeseburgers this month than in the past several years. Yeah! Fuck aging!
But as for my brew o' the month, Corsendonk Pater was a great choice and I did notice those subtleties that I mentioned above. Which I can only attribute to my growth in beer and brewing. This brown ale poured nicely into my wonderful Trappist glass with a dark brown color and light bubbly head of foam. I immediately could smell notes of fruit and spice but the most prevalent aspect was the texture of the beer. It had a really light and carbonated feel to it. Knowing a little more from my tests, readings, and general inquisitiveness of beer, I'm sure this all stemmed from the bottle and brewing process. Unlike American craft beers that I've been sampling for the past several months, this one came corked and bottle-conditioned. Meaning that it was brewed with respect to its serving method. Much like the way Guinness cans their beer with a widget to help with cascading pours. Two full servings in the Trappist glass of Corsendonk Pater went down smoothly and swiftly. Well worth the price of admission!

The Buzz:
With a beer that tasted, smelled, and felt so good to drink, my hopes were high for the perfect buzz. Something that I could appreciate as a go-to beer when I was looking to celebrate a big occasion. An occasion, say, like a 30th birthday. Or perhaps something even more memorable...like...UFC 119. Well, wouldn't you know both those occasions happened in this past month. And while I opted for a plethora of specialty and craft brews on the big 3-0 at my local awesomeness-pub (The Daily Pint), I opted to celebrate the 119th UFC sanctioned pay-per-view fight with this Abbey Brown Ale. Boasting a respectful 7.5% abv and going down smoother than Billy Dee on a lucky lady circa 1979, one might think that this beer would've achieved its the perfect buzz-worthy-ness that I had hoped for. Alas, it was not to be. For whatever reason, I was barely phased by this Belgian brew. I actually wished for another after it was over. The combination of taste and refreshing palate had me yearning for more. And without a noticeable drunken state setting in, I was fairly confident that my body could handle it --- old age and all.  Regardless, this Dubbel style ale is one that I would certainly try again and again. And unlike it's celebratory counterpart, Mr. UFC 119, I was thoroughly pleased with the overall experience.

The Hangover:
Deciding to drink my beers on a Saturday eve while watching my monthly UFC pay-per-view has now become almost tradition. Doing so on a Saturday after having attended a grueling Muay Thai Kickboxing class during the day...not so traditional. My body was hurt and exhausted. But fortunately, none of the physical wear translated into physiologically. Perhaps it was the large Mexican dinner I had beforehand, perhaps it was the light and airy nature of the beer, or perhaps it was because I'm now officially 30 years old and have grown out of my pussy-beer-drinking phase.  But whatever the reason, there was absolutely zero point zero hangover symptoms. I feel asleep, stayed asleep, and woke up just fine. No need for even a hangover cocktail of meds. I more or less knew that I'd be ok with this beer. The lack of buzz seemed to solidify that notion. Now, I only wonder if another 12oz. of Corsendonk Pater would've changed this outcome. Perhaps I will have to explore that notion further with a follow-up test. To do so, however, would require finding this beer in smaller batches. Because if I was to buy two 750mL bottles, I certainly would find myself drinking both --- well over the allotted amount for these purposes.

The Verdict:
The second Abbey Ale in a row and one that is very closely compared to last months Ommegang pick, this beer couldn't have been any more different. From taste and aroma to drinkability and hangover, every aspect of Cosendonk Pater was the complete opposite my experiences last month. And all for the better. It truly may have been an instance of circumstances, or it may have simply been serving methods and bottling procedures. Whatever the factors were, this was a beer I truly enjoyed. And one that I'd like to enjoy again in the future. And unlike past beers that I've enjoyed through and through, there were no negative reactions the next day. While I'd like to chalk it up to my body and mind and soul aging properly, it's very likely this instance was just a birthday gift from the beer gods!

Ommegang Abbey Ale

Once again the end of the month is upon us and as I sit watching another episode of "The Great Food Truck Race" (a show I have a love-hate relationship with due to the fact that I pitched something like this to Food Network about 10 months ago only to be met with blank stares and suggestions to make it more like "Pimp My Ride for roach coaches" Braaagghhhh, stupid dumb damn TV execs!!!) I am writing this one one the fly - no drafts, no notes, no plan. This week I'm tackling a more well-known microbrew in Ommegang Brewery's Abbey Ale. In addition to the run-and-gun writing of this post, I've also added a new glass to my drinking arsenal. How can this not  be an exciting read!?!

The Beer:
Employing a brand new Trappist glass to maximize the taste, aroma, and colors of this fine ale, I found myself somewhat overwhelmed by the first few sips. Abbey Ale brought forth strong spiced notes and a slight woody taste as if it were aged in oak barrels (which admittedly, I have no knowledge of it is or not). It also presented itself with a strong taste of licorice. A taste that I'm not particularly fond of. A taste that was sticking in my mouth and my brain convincing me that I wasn't going to be able to get through the required 36oz (3 beers) to complete this month's experiment. But, like any good potentially-allergic-blogger, I soldiered on for you the reader! After the first beer was done, I took a short break had a few sips of water and poured the next one into the Trappist. While it could have been that my palate was now familiar with the wave of flavors about to hit it, maybe it was just that the second one got a better pour. I allowed the copious amount of foam to develop without getting too thick to drink. And beer number two went down much smoother and quicker than the first. Ok, perhaps all was not lost. Maybe this was a more acquired taste that would mean beer number three would be a home run. Well, instead of a home run, it was a Bill Buckner - complete flop and something I almost couldn't finish. I don't think it was necessarily a bad beer at all. In fact, I have one bottle left in the fridge that I anticipate having sometime later this week.

The Buzz:
So, much like the beer itself, the buzz from Abbey Ale provided complex results. I knew going into this month's beer test that I would be fighting fatigue no matter what I tried or when. It's been a hellish month of 60-hr work weeks leaving me completely spent by Saturday nights. But, with the support of a new glass to try out and a hotly anticipated UFC pay-per-view, I had hopes that I'd be able to push past that sleepiness and pound down the 4-pack. Unfortunately, that was not quite how the night went down. The glass lost its luster after its first two pours (also...it's a glass! Seriously, how much excitement did I really expect to get out of a freakin' glass!). Also, my go-to drinking event, UFC 118, turned out to be so boring that I fell asleep during the last fight (after the 3rd beer). The last, 5-round championship rematch fight! That's a perfect barometer of a) how boring it was, and b) how tired I was. Typically, in that instance I'd be going for that fourth beer excited that I had it reserved for events just as this. Alas, all I can infer is that the 8.5% abv that Abbey Ale packed was sufficient enough to knock me out before midnight.

The Hangover:
The mixed results that I had with both the taste and buzz from Abbey Ale decided to continue into the next day with one of the weirdest hangovers I can remember in quite some time. My hangovers typically manifest them selves as either a headache, stomachache, or worst-case scenario - both! This time however, it was like a pseudo-headache that felt like I was in an all-day fog. I slept fairly well having had my typical hangover cocktail early in the morning before going back to bed for a few hours. The absolutely bizarre dreams I had however, combined with sleeping so hard on my arms that I woke up to numb limbs, caused me to feel like I had just awoken from some deep, dangerous, life-altering surgery.  Half my body was on fire, while the other half was frozen. I couldn't mobilize properly and woke up to being more tired that I had felt in weeks. It was as if I had been up all night working out or getting beat on (which I suppose is possible if I was so passed out that my tough-as-nails Boxer, Murdoch, decided to walk all over me during the night). But the hangover stuck around until about 3pm when it finally dispersed only to reappear after dinner all over again. But it wasn't the worst hangover. It wasn't the pain of the Lagunitas Copper Ale or even the discomfort from last months Shipyard XXXX IPA. It was something different and foreign. I could deal with it well enough to function, I just wish I had had the entire Sunday to lay on the couch and watch old Jerry Orbach episodes of Law & Order. I miss you Lenny Briscoe...L&O hasn't ever been the same without you.

The Verdict:
After only having a few days to gather my thoughts and post this blog, I have to say that Ommegang's Abbey Ale fell into the middle of the craft brew pack for me. It clearly was a mixed bag for me. In taste, buzz, and hangover, my body and brain couldn't get on the same page as this American Belgian Brew.  I think that I'd certainly try other selections from Ommegang's brewery. They do hail from one of the greatest American towns, Cooperstown, NY. And they are known for award-winning Belgian Ales here in America. But on this particular day and this particular test, I have to say that they didn't quite make it to my list of awesomeness.

Pugsley's Signature Series XXXX IPA

Back to regular old beer tests this month. However, that's not to say that I haven't added something new to the mix.  Just as my beer palate is growing, so is my pint collection. The glasses I used this week came courtesy of my good friend and beer buddy John. Having attended an absolutely insane AC/DC concert a couple years ago, he & I have become hardcore fans, enjoying anything and everything AC/DC. And let me say with absolute conviction and assurance...great beer and great rock go hand in hand!

The Beer:
So the beer this week is Shipyard Brewing Co's Pugsley's Signature Series XXXX IPA. Although I made the choice of what to try this month, the wife heavily influenced my selection. While perusing the beer selection at the brand new BevMo up the block, I had a hard time picking just one beer to apply to my test (although I admittedly picked up several 22oz. bottles of some select Rouge & Stone brews). So when we came across Pugsley's XXXX IPA, she thought it'd be great to get a beer named after friend's dog. Yeah, we're dog people and had there been a Murdoch Smoked Porter (Murdoch is our Boxer/Bulldog), I very likely would have bought out the store.  So we headed home with a four-pack of XXXX IPA and several other beverages for a low, low price and I decided to catch up on some episodes of True Blood while putting the latest brew to the test. Right off the bat, I wasn't blown away by XXXX. It wasn't bad per se, but it wasn't particularly special either. The color was a nice copper and the aroma smelled slightly citrusy, but the taste was lacking in my opinion. It wasn't hop-heavy, it wasn't barrel-aged, it wasn't much of anything honestly. In fact, the first thoughts that came to mind were that this beer most closely represented a higher end beer from one of the major distributors. It had all the pieces of a unique beer but without the lasting impression of something I'd get again. Perhaps the best way to put it into perspective is that if I were at one of the ever-present gastropubs popping up throughout town, I'd taste the beer once and probably avoid it to sample what else the bar had to offer.

The Buzz:
Here is where XXXX IPA surprised me. The beer packed a subtle yet powerful punch. Bringing in a respectable 9.25% abv, I expected this beer to overwhelm me the way other 10% abv beers so often do. But after only 1 episode of Sookie & Bill, I had already cracked open my third beer without feeling especially tipsy.  Realizing the rate in which I was drinking, I slowed down considerably with number 3. When finished though, I was feeling fine and had to make the delicate decision of going for all 4 in the pack, or leaving one soldier behind to fight another day. Well, you can thank the power of Angus, Brian, Malcolm & crew for inspiring me to go for number 4. How could I possibly leave one beer behind when I still had one unused AC/DC pint to christen? Simple answer...I couldn't.  And so, in what may have been the worst decision (or perhaps the best), I poured beer number 4 into the "Highway to Hell" pint and went to town.  By the time the glass was emptied, 2 hours of True Blood were done...and so was I.

The Hangover:
So what could I expect the next morning after finishing the max allowance of beer for my experiment? I. Felt. Death. For the first time since the Lagunitas round, the hangover from hell returned. And this time, he hung around a little longer than before. Even with my standard hangover cocktail, I still woke up to a headache like none other. While it wasn't quite attacking my stomach like past hangovers, it did however bring with it the alcohol sweat that notoriously existed only when drinking beers like Bud Light, High Life, & even Corona. A shower, second teeth brushing, third mouth washing, some brunch, AND coffee...the beer stench finally faded. The headache however, did not. It stayed with me well into the afternoon and early evening. While not the worst hangover of my life, it was definitely one I'd like to avoid in the future.

The Verdict:
Pugsley's Signature XXXX IPA was unfortunate for many many reasons. It was the inaugural beer for my new AC/DC pints, it was the first beer purchased at a new BevMo, it's name sake is an adorable pug who is gay for my Brussels Griffon, Belvedere. And it's one I won't get again. The lack of outstanding taste and aroma combined with lasting hangover and headache was a simple equation for avoidance. In fact, I'd probably steer clear of Shipyard Brewing Co. altogether, which is unfortunate because this wasn't an awful beer, it was just unremarkable.

Beers of our Fathers with The Beer Chicks

“I'm flying high in the sky with America's hottest band, and we're all about to die”. Anyone get that reference? Got a free tshirt for you if you do! Seriously though folks, I am actually writing this very special edition of Beer Hates Me from 30,000 miles up. I'm on my way home from an amazing wedding in North Carolina where I drank many wonderful beers both local and foreign. But that's another post for another day (maybe). This time I'm bringing something different to the table. I recently was fortunate enough to attend a Father's Day beer class with the wife and a friend where we picked up some deeper knowledge of craft brews and brewing processes. It was put on by "The Beer Chicks" at Rustic Canyon in Santa Monica. While it was certainly informative, I don't really want to go too deeply into the scholastic aspects of the event, but rather do what I do best --- touch upon the brews, the buzz, and the hangover. How did it go mixing and matching 13 different varieties at noon on a Saturday? Read on to find out astute follower!

The Beer:
As I mentioned above, this installment included an astounding 13 beers in one sitting, but while split up into 3oz pours, the total amount (39oz) ironically equals the same amount I've allotted for this experiment (36-48oz). Our first beer was certainly the most recognizable, but equally the least appetizing.

PBR bitches!!! Yeah, so The Beer Chicks decided to start us off with something at the lowest end in terms of both quality and quantity of alcoholic content. There is nothing to write home about for the ol' Ribbon. It tasted, smelled, and looked as bland as I've always remembered. Perhaps it's fitting then that my loathing for a beer like this goes hand in hand with my loathing for the hipsters who've helped revitalize it.

Next up was Weihenstephaner Original. This is supposed to be the “good twin” to PBR. Same type of beer (a lager), but improved in every other way. It's considered a perfectly balanced beer, and perhaps it is. It's also perfectly forgettable as it's one of the few beers I drank that day that left no lasting impression whatsoever.

Batting third was Twilight Seasonal American Pale Ale. So this was our first ale of the day and also the first one that I took a note about. On my pad (they gave us pads, pens, a fact sheet, and beer packet. These ladies know how to teach a class!) I wrote: “crisp, dry, nice”. So that's simple enough. It reminded me of a good white wine. And by good, I mean that rare white wine that I actually like which is like 0.05% of all the wines ever made. Yeah, I'm not a wine guy. Also, Wine Hates Me sounds dumb.

Next came out the first beer on the list that I've actually had before (outside of PBR naturally). 1554 Enlightened Black Ale from New Belgium Brewing Co. was a beer I'd had before from a 22oz. bottle back in April. I remember liking it then, and little has changed in the 3 months since. It has a caramel, nutty taste to it which I really liked, and the wife even commented that she enjoyed it more than she expected to (and noted so on her pad).

We moved on to a beer from my nemesis Sierrra Nevada. Every beer I've ever had from them has caused me unmeasurable pain the next day. Whatever they're doing at that brewery, it's aimed at my displeasure. So when we tried their 30^th Anniversary Ale – Charlie, Fred, and Ken's Bock, I wasn't expecting too much. But then again, this was just a 3oz. pour, how much harm could it do? Well, while I couldn't exactly meter the damage done, I can say that I found it to be a nice creamy ale with some clean spicey flavors. It packed in a respectable 8.3% abv, the highest of the day so far.

Coming in sixth, was the second craft beer on the list I'd previously had, Ranger IPA. I liked this beer as a hoppy IPA the last time I had it (about a month ago) and enjoyed it for the same reasons this go around. It is one for the hop heads out there and while I tasted a pine flavor and my wife wrote down “mint” on her pad (she may have been on her way to a great buzz by this point) we were actually told by our teachers that their are strong notes of pot in there. Yes, pot. Marijuana, weed, dope, grass, kush, purple explosion, Jamaican delight. I could go on and on and on, but let's continue. The Beer Chicks also passed around bags and bags of different hops at this point, a nice hands-on learning experience to go with the tasting, smelling, and listening to them speak --- covering all the senses in this class they were!

Then we moved on to Hop Henge Experimental IPA out of Deschutes Brewery. This took over as the leader in abv for the day with a very respectable 8.7%. I thought it was ok, but to be honest I can't really recall it all that much outside of noting that I could taste a heavy fruity flavor in it. The notes we had accompanying the beers labeled this one to have strong hints of grapefruit, pineapple, and citrus. So I guess I'm getting a little better at this whole craft beer lifestyle, tasting, palate thing.

Our eighth beer was Maharaja Imperial IPA. Not to be outdone by its predecessor, this brew kicked up the abv all the way to 10.2%. Yeah, class started to get a little raucous at this point. Everyone talking over each other, people passing around cheese, nuts, and figs to pair with. It was quite the rowdy group, let me tell you! What I noted about this beer was it's thick and sweet taste. The sweetness was likely due to the heavy amount of malt brewed to get that higher alcohol content. I liked this beer, but couldn't really see myself having more than one a night at a bar.

Next we had our first stout of the day with Mo'Tcho Risin' Imperial Chocolate Stout. I've already stated my enjoyment of stouts on this blog, but this one was a little extra special. It came from 21^st Amendment Brewery in San Francisco and was brought to us in growlers taken directly from the brewery by one of the Beer Chicks herself. Its a beer that can only be had and purchased at the brewery and it was a nice change to the hoppy ales we'd been having for most of the day. It obviously tasted, smelled, and looked like a chocolate infused beer.

Our tenth beer was Terrible Belgian Strong Dark Ale. This was a big belgian ale that packed in a whopping 10.5% abv. Granted, at this point my palate was starting to overload, but I still remember not being particularly fond of this beer. I thought it was too spicey and smokey for its own good. I wrote down “holiday” on my pad, which can only mean that it reminded me of holiday flavors or that I should buy this as a gift for someone this holiday. Yeah, I was definitely well buzzed by this point.

The eleventh beer we tried was the overall champion in alcoholic content for the day. Pushing an impressive 11% abv, Allagash Curieux was also the last beer on the docket that I had previously tried. It had been quite a while though and was at the beginning of my exploration of craft beers and their different properties. This was a strong, complex beer and this was the first time I ever successfully noted the flavors from the barreling of the beer. Being stored in Jim Bean Bourbon Barrels made it pretty easy though. I will certainly have this beer again, exactly when however I can't say since everywhere I've ever seen it on a menu (including several times this past wedding weekend) it goes for a hefty price per glass.

Coming towards the end of our class we had Ola Dubh Reserve Ale from Harviestoun Brewery in Scotland. Ola Dubh actually means “black oil” and it made perfect sense for this dark, thick, complex beer. Its a collaboration between a brewery and a distiller and aged in skotch barrels. That absolutely comes across in taste and smell. Even moreso than the previous beer. I could see this beer working perfectly in combination with some amazing ice cream as a beer float. Should I come across this beer in a market, it's likely I will buy it just for that purpose.

Our last beer was probably the most interesting and unique. Quelque Chose is a Belgian Kriek (sour cherry ale) that was served to us on the rocks and instantly reminded me of a good Sangaria. I enjoyed it immensely but the wife did not. At all! Fortunately, that meant I got to drink hers, which I was more than happy to do. What also made this beer interesting was that while recommended to be severed chilled as we had it, it is also suggested to try it hot (122-158 degrees F). I can not at all imagine what that would taste like, yet I am eager to get my hands on a bottle and try it sometime this winter.

The Buzz:

Ahhh, the buzz. What can I say about drinking 13 beers with an average abv of over 7.5%? Well, I can say that by 2pm, this guy was feeling fine! But I suppose, even with a decent breakfast in me, mixing and matching that many different craft brews at noon on a weekend will get any guy a little fucked up. It was fun though to see this large group of people drinking beer out of wine glasses in a classy restaurant all getting rowdy and riled up. I confess that I did probably pour out a few last sips of every other beer or so. It's not that I didn't want to finish what I was given, it was that I had to be responsible and drive home afterwards. Even so, I'm glad I lived close to the event because there was no way I was about to get onto a highway and drive home. As for my companions, well...my wife was probably the ONLY person in the entire place that drank every last drop of every beer given to her (with the exception of the Quelque Chose) and she got home and continued to drink until dinner time. She makes me so proud! As for my other friend who joined us, he claimed to be wobbling down the street afterwards when he realized he ought to dash into a nearby bar for a cheeseburger to help him sober up. What better place to sober up than a bar? Smart guy my friend!

The Hangover:

The hangover didn't really apply to this edition of Beer Hates Me. It's hard to be hungover when you finish drinking at 2:00pm and sober yourself up throughout the course of the day. A good walk of the dogs, some fresh ice tea, and a hefty serving of fresh Mexican food will certainly soak up and dry away all the alcohol that was once floating around inside me. But this post wasn't so much a part of the experiment proper, but rather a tangent to help me better understand beer and brewing methods; To get a chance to get a better scientific grip on what it is about certain beers that wrecks me; To, as Obi Wan said, choose wisely!

The Verdict:

Since I pretty much summed up this particular post above, I will say this as a verdict: if you happen to find a tasting class, go to one! It was a blast. For $45, we got the equivalent of 3 full beers, a heft of information both on paper and through lecture, and had a great time drinking in a way we normally wouldn't have. I highly recommend checking out The Beer Chicks website & their book "The Naked Pint". I picked up a copy for my Dad and had them sign it for him. I figured that was the right thing to do when attending a "Father's Day" beer tasting event without a father in tow. Perhaps next time he visits, we'll have to find something similar to do!

Black Cauldron Imperial Stout

This installment of my grueling experiment was interesting for several reasons.  For one (if you've already skipped to the pictures, you might notice already) I used a different glass for my drinks this go around.  The reason behind that leads me to reason number 2: I didn't select my beers this time --- my wife did!  And she did it without my knowledge, input, or influence.  She was accompanying some friends to our (read "mine") favorite beer distributor here in LA.  While there, she thought it'd be nice to pick me up something special along with a new pint glass.  Only knowing that I am a fan of darker beers, she asked the salesperson for a recommendation and brought home a 4-pack of Black Cauldron Imperial Stout from Grand Teton Brewing Co.  The Sapporo glass?  Well, it was cheap and near the counter I guess...an impulse buy if there ever was one...and one I'm thankful for!

The Beer:
While I wasn't quite planning on adding another stout to this blog just yet, who am I to argue with free beer for the cause.  Black Cauldron was certainly a unique beer to try.  Not so much because of its flavor, taste, or originality....but because the package came full of details about the beer.  For instance, did you know that it's said that Catherine the Great discovered stout while visiting England and ordered some for the Russian Court?  No?  Neither did I.  Wanna know something else?  When the first shipment spoiled at sea, a special batch --- stronger and bitter enough to travel was produced.  It arrived in St. Petersberg and became known as Russian Imperial Stout.  Never thought that this wacky project would be filled with all sorts of knowledgeable trivia, huh?  But how did it taste?  In a word, strong!  I've had plenty of Stouts before, but this one was thicker than most and packed a wallop of smokey flavor with it.  The bitterness was a bit overwhelming at times though.  And I couldn't manage to finish all 4 in one sitting.  By the end, I'd had enough.  My palate couldn't tolerate any more spiced or dried fruity tones.  For one or two beers, it would've been ok throughout the night. But once I got through number 3, it was too much and had me not really desiring a fourth, but rather a big glass of water.

The Buzz:
The thing with Imperial Stouts like this that I was aware of beforehand, I was certainly going to get druuuuunk!  Boasting an impressive 8.0% abv, it wasn't the most potent beer I've had, but it certainly wasn't anywhere near the weakest.  In addition to the facts provided on the packaging, Grand Teton Brewing Co. provided a bevy of figures to match.  Black Cauldron has an Original Gravity of 22, measures 43 on the IBU scale, and falls at the very upper end of the Lovibonde spectrum around 35.  What do all those numbers mean though?  Well, just turn that packaging on its end and underneath they'll tell you!  Original Gravity refers to the "strength" of beer prior to fermentation.  It denotes how much sugar has been extracted from the malted grain into the unfermented beer.  The IBU scale stands of International Bitterness Units and represents the amount of bitterness in the beer.  IBU is an expression in parts per million of alpha acid in the beer.  And the Lovibonde spectrum, well, that is obviously the color of the beer.  Which in itself comes from the color of the hops.  The scale ranges from 1 to 30 with the lower numbers being very pale to the upper ends being black.  So there you go.  That's your beer class for the day.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  Oh yeah, the buzz...uh, I was certainly fucked up by the end of the 3 beers I drank.

The Hangover:
Coming off last month's experiment and painful recovery from the Lagunitas Censored Rich Copper Ale, I was praying for a more merciful hangover.  It could've been the decision to leave that 4th beer in the fridge.  Could've been the huge glass of water I downed before bed.  Maybe it was just that the beer gods were listening to my prayers.  But, after the typical aspirin, water, antacid cocktail I take every morning after drinking, any lingering symptoms of a hangover ceased to exist.  By noon, I had taken Murdoch (my boxer) on a nice long walk through one of the most expensive neighborhoods in LA where we were hoping to run into some other dog-loving family who just happened to have a 6000 sq ft guest house in the back they were hoping my family could move into.  Yeah...Sunday walks are fun!

The Verdict:
Black Cauldron Imperial Stout was far from a favorite of mine.  But that's not to say it was a bad beer.  It just wasn't right for this experiment.  It will however be notable for me for a few reasons.  The fact that it was one not of my choice, the fact that I actually learned something useful from this experiment, and the fact that part of me actually feels smarter (although admittedly, after each of these projects, most of me actually feels slightly dumber).  But kudos to Grand Teton Brewing.  I'd be interested in getting my hands on some of their other batches not only to taste, but to see what else I could learn from their packaging.  For now though, I'll be hanging on to Black Cauldron's 4-pack...if only for reference!

Lagunitas Censored Rich Copper Ale

So, five posts in, I think this is going to be a monthly thing.  It seems that's the amount of time in between experiments that best fits my schedule.  That's not to say that I've been drinking only one night a month.  Oh no, in fact, over the past several weeks I think I've sampled more flavors and varieties of beer than I have in a long time.  From Vanilla Bean Porters on cask to Belgium Triple Hop IPA's, I've gone far and wide in sampling some delicious brews.  For this installment, I went with one of my favorite breweries and one of their unlimited releases - "The Censored Rich Copper Ale".

The Beer:
Now, I've had Lagunitas beers before.  One of my all-time favorites is their Brown Shugga Sweet Release Ale.  Man, is that one tasty beverage.  This one though, was equally (if not more) tasteful than even that favorite of mine.  The Censored Rich Ale might have been the best overall tasting beer I've had ever.  It fit perfectly to my tastes: a touch of hops but not bitter, rich but not thick, malty but without aftertaste.  It has no copper in it, but the name fits perfectly due to the beautiful color of the beer.  I seriously LOVED this beer.  Since the parameters of my experiment call for 36-48oz of consumption, I often have the choice when dealing with six-packs of drinking 3 or 4 beers for this project.  In this case, the choice was easy.  And in fact, had my wife not given away two of them to a friend earlier in the week, I likely would have had to void the test altogether because I would've drank the entire sixer.  There was a sweetness to it that I had never really noticed in other ales before.  I think this was due to the caramel malt added with some sort of roasting touches to the finish.  Whatever technical magic they worked up for this one, I appreciated the efforts.

The Buzz:
In the past, I've paired these experiments with evenings of video games, MMA fights, AFL Retrospectives, & the Winter Olympics.  All things that go well with drinking in my opinion.  The content of the entertainment doesn't necessarily need the focus of sobriety (perhaps video games do, but I've been playing those drunk since I was 17).  This time however, I found myself participating in this test while in the middle of a Dexter mini-marathon.  Season 4, episodes 5-9 to be exact.  Intense shit!  Certainly the best season so far in my opinion and one I can't imagine them topping.  Anyway...a show like Dexter with all it's plotting devices and character mysteries isn't exactly one to watch as you're consuming 48oz of alcohol at a 5.9% abv.  You see, while episodes 5 & 6 were easy to follow, early on in episode 7 things began to get fuzzy.  Literally fuzzy.  I was on the last half of the last beer when I started the show.  Somehow, once the drink was all done, I couldn't recall anything that had happened in those first 15 minutes.  ANYTHING.  And it wasn't because of blacking out or falling asleep.  It was because I just didn't care about the show anymore.  Part of me was heavily contemplating further drinking for the night (other beers in house...again, voiding the project) and another part of me was looking at the DirecTV guide for something more passive to watch.  So, while I don't exactly know what that means in measured terms of drunkenness, I can however say that Dexter and beer aren't the best of friends.

The Hangover:
Here is the moment you've all been waiting for:  THIS BEER DESTROYED ME!  That's right, DESTROYED!  How is that for irony?  By far, the best tasting and most satisfying alcohol I've drank during this whole procedure is the first one that truly delivered on those horrific symptoms I've experienced in the past.  I woke up, popped some Advil, took an antacid, drank some water and went back to bed.  Surely, I'd be fine.  I mean...I've been fine every other time, right?  Wrong!  I woke up feeling like death.  Angry death too.  Death that wanted to punish me for any amount of enjoyment I took in watching a serial killer raise a family in Miami.  So, once up and around, I figured I just needed some fresh air and food and all would be well.  Nope!  We hit the farmer's market and got some breakfast and still I was shaky, nauseous, and fatigued. By 2pm, the nausea went away but the fatigue and headache set in like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli.  It was bad.  And what made it worse was that I was so upset by how much I loved the beer.  How I had planned on making it "my beer" anytime we went to a party or BBQ or whatever.  People would see me show up and be like: "Hey Rob, I see you brought ol' faithful: Lagunitas Censored Rich Copper Ale".  And I'd be like: "Oh, you know me".  And then we'd both laugh and high-five.  It would've been perfect.  But alas, it's not to be.

The Verdict:
Fucking Pissed Off! That's the verdict for ya! For now, until I find out more regarding Lagunitas brewing procedures and ingredients, I'm going to have to stay away.  Because I am indeed ALLERGIC to this fucking beautiful, gorgeous, delectably fantastic Censored Rich Copper Ale.

Red Oval

Coming in over a month late (hey, it takes time to plot this out, research my beer, organize pictures, look at porn...uhh...I mean, write this out.  Yeah, thats it!) is my latest entry to my experimentation of the body, mind, and soul (less so with the soul...more so with the body...a little bit of the mind).  This time around, I decided to switch up game plans.  No more of these $10+ per bottle shit.  No sir, I'm going economical on your asses here.  Trader Joe's Red Oval.  Costing a whopping $2.99 for a six-pack.  Yes, indeed, I'm livin' the high-life!

The Beer:
So after my last foray into TJ beer stock, I decided to go back and try the opposite end of their selection's spectrum.  I went with Red Oval.  A working-man's beer if you would.  Perhaps not for the beer snobs out there as much as their for the brew dogs.  So what did I learn about Red Oval?  Well, for one, it's brewed in Wisconsin at the Minhas Craft Brewery.  You may remember them from such gems as: "Mountain Creek Classic", "Rockhead Malt Liquor", and "Wisconsin Club".  What's that?  You can't recall your last night out with a 40oz. of Rockhead?  That's alright...neither can anyone outside of Monroe, Wisconsin.
Joking aside, Red Oval wasn't all that bad for it's price.  Being a lager and of similar marketing and packaging to beers like Budweiser and Miller Lite, its not surprising that the taste was similar.  There was no discernible odor, a mild hoppy taste, and perhaps most surprisingly no lingering after taste in my mouth.  At under $3.00, I was just happy that it was indeed beer I was drinking and not barley-water (which I imagine would be the uber-cheap way of brewing by simply putting barley into water for an hour, chilling overnight, and serving).

The Buzz:
So the thing with cheap beer, is that they kinda skimp on the alcoholic content.  Having become accustom to high-priced, high-abv, high-falutin' craft brews, I forgot that the requisite 4 beer limit for this experiment wasn't going to have quite the same impact.  So, throughout the night, while being bored to death with the Winter Olympics, I put away 4 cans of Red Oval in a little under 2 hours and had nothing to show for it.  The buzz was barely noticeable and  I felt swindled out of my hard earned cash.  Then I remembered that I had only drank about $2.00 worth of alcohol.  Or the Los Angeles bar equivalent of a shot-glass of imported beer.  So, who was I to complain about the lack of buzz when from an economical standpoint, I was ahead of the game in terms of drunkenness.  That said, it took all my might to not finish off the six-pack and get something for my time's worth.  Fortunately, I had a friend over who dropped those extra two (and several high priced beers) before the women's downhill slalom finished.

The Hangover:
Going to sleep that night, I didn't expect any hangover whatsoever due to the fact that I wasn't drunk in any way.  I mean, how could you feel like shit the next day without feeling like awesome the night before?  It just wouldn't seem right.  Even so, I drank a full glass of water before I passed out just like the rules stated (granted, their my own rules that no one but me knows about, but rules is rules, yo!).  So when I woke up in the morning with a nasty taste in my mouth and tired as all hell, I was confused and upset.  A hangover?  From this?  You gotta be shitting me!!!  Since it was only 7am, I popped a few Advil, re-brushed my teeth, and headed back to bed for another hour or two of sleep.  By 9am...pseduo-hangover cured!  No bad taste, no fatigue, no nothing.  Just pure Sunday morning bliss!

The Verdict:
So, I went with the cheap lager this time over the expensive ale.  What did I get?  Just sub-par beer at a basement-level price!  Perhaps if I had finished the entire six-pack the brief, barely hungover symptoms I experienced would've been far worse.  But for purposes of this blog, I am NOT allergic to Red Oval.

Trader Joe's 2009 Vintage Ale

By now, if you've read all two beer reviews on this site so far, you may get the sense that I don't drink very much.  Fact is, I don't get drunk very much.  I do, however, drink atleast once a week.  Sampling a beer or two, having one at dinner or while watching UFC on a Saturday night all alone in my home while on the couch in a bathrobe contemplating how out of shape I am compared to the fighters I'm watching...ok, that's enough of that, on to my long overdue post.

The Beer:
Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I picked up this bottle of Trader Joe's 2009 Vintage Ale while shopping.  Almost two months later, I decided to give it a go.  Maybe the time it sat in my fridge was a determent to the taste of this brew, because right off the bat, I did not like it.  It was a thick beer, but not as smooth as a porter or stout.  There were notes of spice and malt, but it didn't have that satisfying taste of cocoa that I've gotten in other dark beers.  The heft that it held in my stomach was far from refreshing and although the second glass did go down smoother than the first, I still found myself struggling to finish the last few sips.  But then again, this is Trader Joe's.  The place known for their "two-buck-chuck" wine selection.  What was I really to expect.  So I did a little digging and came upon the brewer of this "Vintage Ale".  It turns out that this exclusive beer is brewed by noted craft brewery Unibroue.  And judging from their beer selections and alcohol content, the Trader Joe's 2009 Vintage Ale is in fact just a repackaging of their Trois Pistoles.  That said, it's still pretty cool to score a 750mL bottle of that particular beer at TJ prices.

The Buzz:
As far as alcoholic content goes, this dark drink packed in 9%abv.  Not too bad for the price.  I certainly felt it by the end of the bottle.  But like most heavy ales, I felt this one with each sip.  It wasn't the type of beer that lent itself to chugging it down (or even vigorously sipping for that matter), so with each trip my lips took to the glass, I was aware of my progressive intoxication.  Being that this brew occupied my time watching Stikeforce MMA on Showtime, I'd say that I was ready for shut eye before the main event even approached.     The thing with this beer though was that because of its taste and feel, there was no way I could possibly drink any more for the night and increase my buzz.  But at the same time, once I was done with the bottle and I allowed myself one glass of water, I immediately started to sober up.  Like...immediately!  I managed to stay awake through the entire under-card and was completely fine for the entire (albeit very quick) main event.  So kudos to you Trader Joe's 2009 Vintage Ale for creating the perfect recipe for moderate intoxication with rapid recovery time.  And kudos to you Nick Diaz of Strikeforce MMA for winning the belt that night!

The Hangover:
When the next morning came around, I woke up with the same typical stomach/lightheaded/jittery feelings I always seem to get.  I was sure though that with the strong alcoholic content and thick malty taste, this one was gonna last well past my coffee and cookie in the morning.  But, much like the Bons Vœux last time around, the hangover disappeared very quickly.  I took my dog to the park and let him run around quite a bit while I just relaxed in the sun.  After 40minutes or so, he was tired and ready to leave, and I felt as though any remnants of alcohol in my system had been burned off in the warm 70 degree February sun.


The Verdict:
Not allergic.  Three beers so far, three negatives on the allergy.  Could be time to switch it up from all this fancy-pants, high-end craft beers and get back to Joe Six-Pack-Plumber-Everyman-Beer.  Or perhaps just simply switching it up between ales and lagers.  Or...maybe even both!  Stay tuned astute reader!

Name Change

Just a quick update regarding the name of this blog.  For all you loyal readers, you may have noticed that the title has changed.  It was intended to be "allergictofun.blogspot.com" but that was taken by something lame and out of date.  So I settled upon "allerigictobooze.blogspot.com".  That, however, never sat right with me and wasn't entirely accurate (I'm not allergic to ALL booze, just certain beers).

So I present to you the new, improved, and FINAL title and URL for my blog: beerhatesme.blogspot.com.

I feel this is much closer to my unfortunate alcoholic situation regarding one of my favorite beverages.

That is all, stay tuned for a new entry on a Trader Joe's beer that lured me in and pulled a switcheroo after some research!

Avec Les Bons Vœux de la Brasserie Dupont

Uhhh, yeah. The title to this post. Yeah, that's the name of the beer. Smart move Rob, for your second post, really grab those readers with an obscure beer and a name that is absurdly long. Let's just refer to it as Bons Vœux. I think that's the safest way to approach writing about this beer. How did I come across such a long-winded, niche-market, specialty-crafted beer? Thank a guy at Whole Foods in an elf cap. Seriously. A guy. In an elf cap. Who apparently is employed by Whole Foods to educate and assist shoppers about their beer purchases. I dig the notion. Kind of like a fancy restaurant but in a grocery store. Anyway, I drank this one a few nights ago and have my assessment.

The Beer:
Before I got started on this particular beer, I figured I'd prime my liver with a single glass of a home-brewed pale ale a friend cooked up over the holidays. It wasn't half bad. Not particularly noteworthy, but it got my body ready for the intensity that Bons Vœux was sure to deliver.
Being a Belgian beer, Bons Vœux is a blonde top fermentation beer with refermentation in the bottle. I'm no brewer, but I can tell you that must mean something special. Fermentation twice in one single beer?!? The Belgians must be crazy. Well, apparently crazy works over there in that wacky part of the world. Because this baby was packing 9.5% alcohol. That's quite a bit, even amongst imported double-fermented beers! A little research (as well as reading a blurb on the back of the bottle) reveals that since 1970, the brewery has been brewing a special beer to give as a new years present to their best clients (the name of this beer “Avec les bons Vœux de la brasserie Dupont" means "With the best wishes of the brewery Dupont"). But how did it taste? The Bons Vœux is coppery blonde and tastes bitter, fruity and mild. I loved at first, liked at second, and kinda got tired of by the end.

The Buzz:
Fancy pants beer aside, how well did it fuck me up? Pretty well! Must have been all that refermentation. I know that it hit me quick and hard. One glass (about half the bottle) and I certainly felt it. And I wanted more. The second glass though, while easily getting me plenty drunk, was much much harder to go down. The fruity bitterness started to wane on my taste buds and I soon felt like this was a hefeweizen. Not only was my head reeling from the intense alcoholic content, but my stomach was barely able to handle the last sip. I wasn't sick by any means, I was just full. And my palate couldn't handle the deep flavors, which in retrospect, says a lot for the beer. Even after thoroughly inebriating my system, it was the flavor of the beer that was really preventing me from finishing the entire bottle. I can't say that that has ever happened with a beer before. That said, I personally prefer the hops to be dialed down a bit. But that's just me, the non-Belgian who can't handle his alcohol anyway.

The Hangover:
Like the Coconut Porter before, this hangover can be separated into two distinct parts. The first (again on 4 hours sleep awoken by hungry dogs), I was quite dehydrated with a slight headache. A little water, a couple pills, and I'm back to sleep without too much trouble. I had no noticeable stomach issues, yet the heavy taste from earlier was still quite potent in my mouth. The second part of the hangover, the more serious part, was barely present. I awoke after another 4 hours of sleep with a little cloudiness in my head, still quite groggy, a slightly stiff, but far from what I'd even consider hungover. It may have taken me a little while to get up and going, but after a shower and coffee I was in tip-top shape, ready to take on the day. By noon there was virtually no physiological evidence that I had been drunk the night before. Could those double-fermenting Belgians be on to something? Is this how they drink and brew so much beer? Has my bizarre allergy been solved? I'm not sure just yet, but this is something that is sure to be watched over the subsequent experiments. If a beer that packs 9.5% alcohol could be something that is drinkable on a school-night, perhaps there is something to the fermentation and hops selection of a country that is responsible for my typical hangover-ailments.

The Verdict:
Not Allergic. For its unique brewing process and seasonal specialty, La Brasserie Dupont's Bons Vœux is a-ok in my book!